evan dekhayser

a place for my thoughts




29 Jun 2017

High school graduation was this month, and college starts in August, so for the first time I can remember, I don’t have any full-time commitments for the next month or so. Besides my occasional writing job, the only other thing on my plate is working on a new version of my app I want to release in January.

It feels strange not having to study for an exam or be anxious about an upcoming presentation. Even in the last two weeks of school, when I knew nothing actually mattered, I still worked my ass off because that’s all I knew how to do.

Now, there is no more work I have to do. Sure, I would like to finish the update before school, but that’s a goal I set for myself. Nobody is requiring anything of me for the next month, and it’s amazing.

In the past, vacations were never really vacations. Teachers would assign projects over our week off, or have a test when we get back. Last summer and winter break, I was too busy working on my college applications to have any time to breathe. Even spring break was taken up by the stress of college admissions decisions.

But now, for the next few weeks, there is no uncertainty, no constant obligation, and no stress. I am writing from a bench outside my house, listening to the birds and trees in the wind, and I don’t have to be anywhere else.

I don’t remember the last time I was so content.